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Many people describe the female orgasm as an elusive unicorn that can’t be captured, let alone understood. This concept is reflected in the statistics regarding female orgasms, or lack thereof. The orgasm gap is real. Heterosexual women have as few as ⅓ the orgasms than their male partners. This gap is almost non-existent in lesbian and gay relationships. I used to think that this gap was because men do not value female pleasure and genuinely do not want to pleasure women. However, after talking with a lot of buds, I now believe that most men authentically want to please their partners, but they don’t have the tools to make this happen. This article will explain the science of the female orgasm and how to use this information to experience more pleasure.

Let’s start with the facts. There are no two vulvas that are identical. There is huge neurodiversity between pussys. This means that some women have more nerve endings in their clitoris, some have more nerve endings inside their vagina and some have more closer to their anus. Depending on the location of the nerve endings, different types of stimulation will feel good for different women. Women can experience orgasms in many areas including from their clit, internal stimulation, their cervix, their nipples, their anus and from a combination of these areas. Due to the neurodiversity between vulvas, and often what worked on your ex, may not work on a new partner.

Despite the variety between women in regards to pleasure centers, research shows that the majority of women have the most sensation on their clit, the only female organ designed purely for pleasure! In fact, less than 20% of women can orgasm from penetration without direct clitoral stimulation. However, our current sexual paradigm prioritizes male pleasure and the minority of women who have more nerve endings inside their vagina and can orgasm from penetration alone. Think about how movies and most heterosexual porn shows the “main act” to be penetration, and everything else is either not-shown or considered foreplay. That is really shitty for the 80% of women who can’t orgasm from this type of sex, because they often feel deficient, or that something is wrong with them. Most of female pleasure isn’t about strength. You don’t have to be like the Hulk, in fact a lot of women get off on slow, soft methodological touches, that jackhammer shit often only works for the under 20% that can cum from penetration.

To further complicate things, women themselves are not always sure that they have experienced an orgasm. A recent study had women masturbate while devices measured physiological signs of orgasm. The results showed that almost half of the women who stated that they had an orgasm did not have the muscle contractions and neurological response that is typically associated with orgasm. Is the female orgasm actually an elusive unicorn? It’s certainly seems possible. The researchers explain their results by saying that perhaps we need to differentiate the experience of climax from that of an orgasmic state and perhaps instead of focusing on climax, we can work towards getting women into a state of deep relaxation and arousal.

The basic model of orgasm first discovered by Masters and Johnson, predominantly from having illicit sex with each other, includes excitement, plateau, orgasm and resolution. Although, the stages of arousal appear to be the same for both genders, women’s orgasms are particularly complex. There is a lot of research that explores orgasmic states in relation to multiple orgasms in women. The basic idea is that once a women experiences her first orgasmic peak, there is a way to keep her stimulated so that she has really short refractory period and can experience multiple climaxes i.e. an orgasmic state. I may have to do another article on how to get a women in an orgasmic state because there is a specific technique and it is epic as fuck. Have any vagina owners experienced multiple orgasms? How were you being stimulated?

There are sex differences in genital/brain response to pleasure as well. Specifically, in a recent study men and women watched erotic clips while undergoing a brain scan. It was found that similar brain regions were activated in men and women, however, there was a stronger association between genital response and brain response in women. This means that there is a stronger relationship for women between what they are thinking and their corresponding arousal.

How can we use this scientific information to make women cum really fucking hard? First, investigate what gets your partner off . As arousal is hugely impacted by the brain for women, discuss fantasy and what turns your partner on, so that you can get inside your partner's head. Ask her questions. Can she cum from penetration? What makes her scream? As well, pay attention to her non-verbal signals. If you do something and she starts to moan, continue with that motion. Consistency is key. Also, for most women: rub her clit! Rub her clit while you make out, rub her clit while she sucks your dick, and definitely rub her clit while you are fucking her. Rub her clit in slow, soft circles. Rub her clit quickly and roughly while finger fucking her. Don’t be like the Flash! A slow build up is better than speed, but as she starts to get close increase intensity and speed.

Be a tease. It often takes women longer than men to get aroused. See how horny you can make a woman while you are still clothed. Then instead of going right for the gold, begin slowly kissing down her body. Wait till she is begging for it to play with her pussy.

Ladies, be active participants during sex so there is a higher level of mutual satisfaction. Instead of waiting for a man to figure out how to make you cum, DO IT YOURSELF! During a hookup, explain to your partner exactly what feels good for you and if they can’t do it, pleasure yourself while they watch. Have a healthy masturbation life. You can tease and be spontaneous with yourself too.